Maria Shriver on taking pause

Pic found on mariashriver.com

Pic found on mariashriver.com

As part of the Kennedy Clan, Ms Shriver has iconic quasi-royalty status in the USA – would that be fair to say? I don’t remember reading much about her back over in Europe, but she has had her share of press in the past. Throughout, I thought she stayed classy and polished. Now she’s encouraging us to take another look at communication and … pausing.

Here are some of her words from last year’s address at the Annenberg School in Southern California.

We’re communicating like never before — across borders and time zones — on platforms, devices, computers, tablets, phones, apps, games, you name it.

Communicating 24/7– wired and wirelessly — talking, texting, and tweeting — trending and friending — to the other side of the room and the other side of the planet — spitting out the old, in order to consume the new.

Every minute you’re awake, you’re reaching out beyond yourself — waaay out beyond. It feels like the entire universe is an extension of your own nervous system.

You communicate instantly, automatically, and effortlessly. For you…communicating is like breathing.

(…)

Even today at my age, people come up to me all the time asking, ‘Maria, What are you doing? What’s your job? Are you going back into television? Are you writing another book? Are you gonna run another women’s conference? What are you doing?’

It’s like what we’re doing at this precise moment doesn’t even exist. Everyone is focused on the next thing. Everyone is racing to the Next Thing.

Well, I got caught up in that for a really long time — so much so, that I could never really enjoy what I WAS doing, because I was always worried about what I was going to be doing.

I tell you all this, because I know right now everybody’s asking you those same questions: “What are you gonna do after graduation? Do you have a job? Where will you be working? How much are they paying? Where are you going? Where will you be living? Who are you seeing?” Oh, my God — so many questions!

And here you are: sitting there ready to hit the Fast Forward button and find out the answers. I get that. I was just LIKE you: I lived on Fast Forward.

But today, I have one wish for you. Before you go out and press that fast forward button, I’m hoping – I’m praying – that you’ll have the courage to first press the pause button.

I’m asking you to learn how to pause, because I believe the state of our communication is out of control. And you? I believe you have the incredible opportunity to fix it.

You have the power, each and every one of you, to change the way we as a nation speak to one another. I truly believe you can change our national discourse for the better. 

You have the chance to change the way we talk to one another, what we read on the Web and newspapers and magazines, what we see on TV, what we hear on radio. You can help us change the channel.

I’m hoping you young men and women dare to bring change to our community by changing our communication.

(…)

PAUSE — and take the time to find out, what’s important to you. Find out what you love, what’s real and true to you — so it can infuse and inform your work and make it your own.

PAUSE — before you report something you don’t know is absolutely true, something you haven’t corroborated with not just one, but two sources, as I was taught. And make sure that they’re two reliable sources.

PAUSE — before you put a rumor out there as fact. Just because you read it or saw it on TV or the Web — no matter how many times — doesn’t mean its true. Don’t just pass on garbage because you want to be first. There’s no glory in being first with garbage.

PAUSE — before you hit the “send” button and forward a picture that could ruin someone’s life — or write something nasty on someone’s Wall because you think it’s funny or clever. Believe me, it isn’t.

PAUSE — before you make judgments about people’s personal or professional decisions.

PAUSE — before you join in and disparage someone’s sexuality or intellectual ability.

PAUSE — before forwarding the untrue and inflammatory tidbits that have made it so difficult for would-be public servants and their families to step up and lead.

(…)

Feel your strength and your vulnerability. Acknowledge your goodness, and don’t be afraid of it. Look at your darkness — and work to understand it, so you’ll have the power to choose who you’ll be in the world.

Women: look at your toughness and your softness. You can and should make room for both in your life. The world needs both.

Men: find your gentleness, and wrap it into your manliness. You, too, can make room for both. The greatest men do.

(…)

Oh, how this world needs you — young men and women with the guts to pause and acknowledge where you’re at and how you got here — and then to change course if you need to — and trust me, sometimes you’ll need to change course! But know you’ve got the strength to do it.

So today, as you head out into the Open Field of life, keep your mind open, keep your heart open. Don’t be afraid to be afraid. Courageous people often are afraid. In fact, that’s why they need courage in the first place!

Read the full text or watch the video here.

The giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard

Pic found on justjared.com

Pic found on justjared.com

We were living in Mexico when the final installment of Harry Potter came out. This was a book I had eagerly anticipated, and you cannot imagine (well, maybe you can) how immensely outrageously happy I was when I realized the stores received copies in English. Hooray!

The list of inspiring women’s quotes would not be complete without J K Rowling’s Harvard address from 2008.

Feast your soul:

I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that have expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

(…)

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless.

(…)

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

(…)

Now you might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I personally will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

(…)

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom: As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.
I wish you all very good lives.

Read the full text or watch the video here.

Take that lump in your throat and run with it

debbiemillman-450x287We all need pick-me-ups once in a while. I hope you’re filling your own happiness jars with numerous notes of noteworthy positive events in your life! I’m sharing my favorite encouraging inspiring women’s quotes this week, maybe they’ll inspire you, too. Below is an excerpt of Debbie Millman’s address to the students at San Jose State.

Honest, touching, poetic.

Every once in a while – often when we least expect it – we encounter someone more courageous, someone who chose to strive for that which (to us) seemed unattainable, even elusive. And we marvel. We swoon. We gape. Often, we are in awe. I think we look at these people as lucky, when luck has nothing to do with it. It is really all about their imagination; it is how they constructed the possibilities for their life.

(…)

Our abilities are only limited by our perceptions.

(…)

Perhaps what is truly known can’t be described or articulated by creativity or logic, science or art, but perhaps it can be described by the most authentic and meaningful combination of the two: poetry.

As Robert Frost wrote: a poem “begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It is never a thought to begin with.”

(…)

Start with a big, fat lump in your throat and run with it.

(…)

Work as hard as you can, imagine immensities, don’t compromise, and don’t waste time. Start now. Not 20 years from now, not 2 weeks from now. Now.

If you have time, read the beautifully illustrated version here.

Nora Ephron on education and dress rehearsals

Pic found on elitedaily.com

Pic found on elitedaily.com

This is going to be a week of inspiring quotes from inspiring women on leadership, creativity, and living life to the fullest.

Our first installment comes courtesy of one of my favorite authors and directors. It’s from her commencement address to the Wellesley Class of 1996, whence she graduated 34 years prior.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. Because you don’t have the alibi my class had — this is one of the great achievements and mixed blessings you inherit: unlike us, you can’t say nobody told you there were other options. Your education is a dress rehearsal for a life that is yours to lead. Twenty-five years from now, you won’t have as easy a time making excuses as my class did. You won’t be able to blame the deans, or the culture, or anyone else: you will have no one to blame but yourselves. Whoa.

(…)

What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands.

And this is something else I want to tell you, one of the hundreds of things I didn’t know when I was sitting here so many years ago: you are not going to be you, fixed and immutable you, forever. We have a game we play when we’re waiting for tables in restaurants, where you have to write the five things that describe yourself on a piece of paper.

When I was your age, I would have put: ambitious, Wellesley graduate, daughter, Democrat, single.

(…)

Today not one of those five things turns up in my list: writer, director, mother, sister, happy. Whatever those five things are for you today, they won’t make the list in ten years — not that you still won’t be some of those things, but they won’t be the five most important things about you.

Which is one of the most delicious things available to women, and more particularly to women than to men. I think. It’s slightly easier for us to shift, to change our minds, to take another path. Yogi Berra, the former New York Yankee who made a specialty of saying things that were famously maladroit, quoted himself at a recent commencement speech he gave. “When you see a fork in the road,” he said, “take it.”

Yes, it’s supposed to be a joke, but as someone said in a movie I made, don’t laugh this is my life, this is the life many women lead: two paths diverge in a wood, and we get to take them both. It’s another of the nicest things about being women; we can do that. Did I say it was hard? Yes, but let me say it again so that none of you can ever say the words, nobody said it was so hard. But it’s also incredibly interesting. You are so lucky to have that life as an option.

Full text available here.

Dream Symbol: Hand

20130518-170637.jpg

Our hands show we’re able to take action – or they may be bound and tied.
Our hands can hold another in friendship – or be balled up in a fist as a sign of aggression.
Our hands can be clean – or dirty after a wrongful deed.
Our hands can free us – or we can use them to block out reality by covering our eyes, ears, mouths, noses.

What condition and position were your hands in? Who or what were they holding? Pointing at?