Who are you when you're alone?
Here's a post especially for those who use extraverted Feeling in their first or second functions. You know you're using extraverted Feeling preferences when...
- you try to please others, a lot
- their needs tend to be more important than your own
- their opinions tend to seem more correct than yours
- you avoid confrontation (unless it's something you really care about)
- disharmony stresses you out
Every once in a while I ask my hubby how he would describe my type preferences. Last time, he said he had a hard time answering that because he's seen me behave in so many different ways, always depending on who I'm with. Was there a type that always changes depending on context?
I said I wasn't sure, but that that is something I've noted as well. I used to wonder who I'd be if I were alone. I wanted consistency, clarity. A no-nonsense direct answer to the question, "who are you?" It's a tough question. I'm an ENFJ, who's like all other ENFJs, like some other ENFJs, and like no other ENFJ. I'm a German who's lived in Scotland, England, Spain, the Canary Islands, Mexico, and the USA. I am and always will be a daughter, sister, cousin, friend etc.
Today I recognize and accept that I am multitudes. I am yes, and. That, and more. Depends on the context. My truth is that I'm never alone, so asking who I'd be on my own doesn't make sense. I'm always in one of the roles described in the picture, and there are probably many more relationships I haven't even mentioned on there.
No Doris is an island.
Still - do you know what my friend Sarah said? She had just had her appendix out when she heard me talk on the phone in three different languages. She said, "you talk and behave differently in German, English, and Spanish, but you always laugh in Doris."
What do you think? Are you always the same no matter where you go or who you're with? Or can you relate to the adaptation?