Values, Beliefs and Fears
Today I want to take up an idea from the post The Perfect Myth and ask you again what your values and beliefs are. I remember the first time I was asked about my values and what order I would put them in, and it was the hardest thing - of course everything was equally as important, health, love, respect, freedom... but in the end I did come up with a list that made sense to me. Let's see if you have time today to do that excercise.
I believe that our actions are the result of our thoughts, our thoughts are the result of the beliefs we carry deep inside us, and those beliefs come from all over the place and should be sorted out according to their helpfulness.
Your values are linked to your conscience. You act against your values, you start feeling uncomfortable. Say one of your values is honesty, then staying in a relationship that's not working for you anymore is like torturing your soul every day, acting against its better judgement. Your beliefs will try to convince you that it's better to stick with things, that there's a grace to suffering and a reward will be waiting somewhere, but your values will disagree and in the end you might find yourself torn apart.
It's not easy to change beliefs, especially those you've grown up with and lived according to for all of your years. But it is possible.
Make yourself aware of what your values are.
Is it more important for you to be honest, or to be popular? To be healthy, or in a relationship? Find at least ten values and put them into an order, asking yourself if you had this one, could you live without the next one? If not, the latter goes up one spot, until you come to your number one value. Then ask yourself, how your life is reflecting those values. In what way are your beliefs holding those values up? You may find that you disagree with some things your church or your parents have told you, and that's ok. No reason to be alarmed. You're just taking over responsibility for what you believe.
Soon enough, you'll see that everything's possible, and that the only limits are the limits of your imagination.