If you like to be on time and your partner likes to take their time
There is no way I can be generic in this post, so let's just put it out there:
I'm German, and I have a "J" in my Type preferences.
My husband is Spanish, and he has a "P" in his Type code.
Disaster waiting to happen, I hear you chuckle? You have no idea.
A prominent German saying goes, 'don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today'. ("Was Du heute kannst besorgen, das verschiebe nicht auf morgen." - rhymes and everything.)
Probably the most-used word in the Spanish language? "Mañana." (Tomorrow.)
What do we know about people with Judging preferences?
They like to finish things, tick them off their to-do list, they generally have a keen sense of time, tend to be early-starting in their projects, as well as punctual.
What do we know about people with Perceiving preferences?
They like to keep their options open, they enjoy the information-intake / data-gathering process a lot more than the decision-making one, they are energized by last-minute pressures, and may not always be punctual.
Having said that, "P" does not necessarily stand for procrastinating, oh no: "J"s may also be late, because for them it's often a question of, "ooh, Just one more thing..."
In preparing for an upcoming culture training, I recently asked my dear hubby how he would describe his sense of time-keeping. His answer:
"Well, when you say 'we need to leave at 8 o'clock', that's ambiguous to me. Because I don't know if it means we get ready to leave at 8, or we close the door at 8, or we are in the car at 8, or we leave the parking lot at 8... what does 8 o'clock mean?"
This is where I'm screaming "HOW IS 8 O'CLOCK AMBIGUOUS???" in my head.
"'We're leaving at 8' means we're closing the door behind us at 8, darling. Thanks for giving me a chance to clarify."
But ok, I wanted to dig deeper.
"In business, when you have a meeting at 9.00 am and you show up at 9.05 am, don't you feel rushed? Or bad for making the other people wait?"
"No, I guess I don't. Why? Because it's never really actually life-threatening if I'm a little late, and also - I don't mind being kept waiting, either. I've spend a lot of time waiting for others, and that's fine."
Huh. Interesting. When I'm kept waiting, I think it's quite rude and disrespectful. I still don't go as far as my mother and insist on having the whole week's grocery shopping done before 8.30 am on a Saturday, but still. Delays bug me.
Obviously, not all Germans have Judging preferences, and not all Spaniards have Perceiving preferences - and in part, I blame the weather. There simply aren't that many good usable hours of sunlight up in the North, so we had to learn to manager our time much more efficiently, bringing in the harvest etc. Whereas in Spain - you can be pretty sure that the sun will shine again tomorrow, giving you time to relax today and finish your chores later.
What do you think?