I've recently come back from a week's holiday in New York where I met up with two of my closest girlfriends. We get together once a year, and this was the first meeting in a town that was strange to all of us. A fact that probably contributed to the strained relationship we were experiencing, each in our own ways, combined with expectations and needs that weren't met, and different sightseeing schedules as well as differing general preferences of how to spend our limited time together. Eventually, the worst thing happened: we had a huge fight. On a boat no less.
As nobody got thrown overboard, the best thing happened: we actually talked about how weird it was for all of us not feeling like we usually feel when we're together. Misunderstandings were cleared up, and we were able to enjoy our remaining albeit short time together beautifully. So, for this week's post, I'd like to share with you what I've learned from this experience:
It's ok to talk to your friends, openly and honestly, about stuff that's on your mind. It's ok to ask for help when you don't feel you're getting enough of it. It's even ok to scream and shout at each other, as long as you keep in mind that it's coming from a place of love and a person who's close to you. Yes, comments may be painful or even damaging at first glance, especially when uttered by a person who's close to you.
However, with a little trust, it's ok to see this as an opportunity to look inside yourself and question whether the image your friends are mirroring back to you is, in fact, true. If it is and you don't like it, congratulations! You've just learned a lesson and probably grown a bit as a person, all thanks to a conversation with your pals. Now you're aware of what you want to change, you can do something about it! If you're still feeling misunderstood and the image you see in your friends' eyes is not who you are, it's still helpful to take the time and explain yourself in different ways, better ways, to your friends, so they understand where you're coming from. The friendship will be more solid for it, built on a more secure foundation.
Everything changes, and friendships are no different to relationships in that respect. People grow, learn stuff, experience hardship over time and become new people. Their core, what first attracted you to befriend them, may remain the same, but the frills around the edges add, combine and change over time. I invite you this week to reconnect to your friends, talk with them, keep in touch, re-introduce yourself to them, and see what happens. We're all on a wonderfully exciting journey, and sharing it with friends makes the ride magical.
Til next time, have a good one!