If you've recently lost your job, your keys, your mind, an important client, a relationship, or been diagnosed with a disease - what are the chances of you getting sick of people telling you to look on the bright side?
What would you rather they said? In times of struggle, do you prefer
- commiseration (i.e. someone to support you in feeling bad about this unfair thing that happened),
- consideration (i.e. be left alone), or
- motivation (in the form of a swift kick up the bottom, i.e. "tough love")?
Ever thought about why you're wired that way? And some more questions:
- What are the chances chance will be tipping in your favor?
- Is chance always 50:50?
- Is it enough to do all you can to position yourself for positive experiences, or do you have to take care to minimize chances for negative situations at the same time?
- I'm tempted to say there's no such thing as "last chance", unless you talk about submission deadlines, and even those get extended.
- What do you think?
- Does chance exist even if you believe your circumstances are pre-determined?
Whichever your coping mechanism, I hope a) that it's working for you, and b) that you know you have a choice in how to respond to whatever your current situation may be. If the silver lining remains stubbornly elusive, maybe an hour of screaming to friends over wine and chocolate is just the ticket. Try some new strategies, who knows, they might take your mind off the unfair thing and towards a solution on how to deal with it.
In any case, know this: you're not alone. I'm not saying you're not special or worthy of attention, because of course you are. We all complain on different levels, what's a nuisance to one is the end of the world to another.
This, too, shall pass.
However scared you may be of not finding another decent apartment, or job, or wife, or lipstick now that your old one is gone, the sooner you make peace with the fact that you indeed may not, the more open you will be open to what is real.
CHANGE is real. It's chaotic and frustrating and at one point or another all of us are flying by the seats of our pants trying not to spin uncontrollably into the orbit. The best you can do is all you can do.
Til next time, have a good one!
Image by GOLDFOCUS, Flickr, Creative Commons License.