Nora Ephron on education and dress rehearsals

Pic found on elitedaily.com

Pic found on elitedaily.com

This is going to be a week of inspiring quotes from inspiring women on leadership, creativity, and living life to the fullest.

Our first installment comes courtesy of one of my favorite authors and directors. It’s from her commencement address to the Wellesley Class of 1996, whence she graduated 34 years prior.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. Because you don’t have the alibi my class had — this is one of the great achievements and mixed blessings you inherit: unlike us, you can’t say nobody told you there were other options. Your education is a dress rehearsal for a life that is yours to lead. Twenty-five years from now, you won’t have as easy a time making excuses as my class did. You won’t be able to blame the deans, or the culture, or anyone else: you will have no one to blame but yourselves. Whoa.

(…)

What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands.

And this is something else I want to tell you, one of the hundreds of things I didn’t know when I was sitting here so many years ago: you are not going to be you, fixed and immutable you, forever. We have a game we play when we’re waiting for tables in restaurants, where you have to write the five things that describe yourself on a piece of paper.

When I was your age, I would have put: ambitious, Wellesley graduate, daughter, Democrat, single.

(…)

Today not one of those five things turns up in my list: writer, director, mother, sister, happy. Whatever those five things are for you today, they won’t make the list in ten years — not that you still won’t be some of those things, but they won’t be the five most important things about you.

Which is one of the most delicious things available to women, and more particularly to women than to men. I think. It’s slightly easier for us to shift, to change our minds, to take another path. Yogi Berra, the former New York Yankee who made a specialty of saying things that were famously maladroit, quoted himself at a recent commencement speech he gave. “When you see a fork in the road,” he said, “take it.”

Yes, it’s supposed to be a joke, but as someone said in a movie I made, don’t laugh this is my life, this is the life many women lead: two paths diverge in a wood, and we get to take them both. It’s another of the nicest things about being women; we can do that. Did I say it was hard? Yes, but let me say it again so that none of you can ever say the words, nobody said it was so hard. But it’s also incredibly interesting. You are so lucky to have that life as an option.

Full text available here.

Dream Symbol: Hand

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Our hands show we’re able to take action – or they may be bound and tied.
Our hands can hold another in friendship – or be balled up in a fist as a sign of aggression.
Our hands can be clean – or dirty after a wrongful deed.
Our hands can free us – or we can use them to block out reality by covering our eyes, ears, mouths, noses.

What condition and position were your hands in? Who or what were they holding? Pointing at?

Tipping the Right Amount

Pic credit: Grant Cochrane

Pic credit: Grant Cochrane

Eating out, getting your nails done, taking a taxi – how much do you tip?

I asked myself that again last week while in New York. Taxis in Manhattan have a handy screen where you can choose the amount you wish to add as tip: 20 %, 25 %, or 30 %. If you want more options, I guess you better have cash on hand. [Read more...]

Intercultural Sensitivity is not Natural

Milton J. Bennett said that.

He also co-created this model of intercultural sensitivity development:

Intercultural Sensitivity Development Model

Intercultural Sensitivity Development Model

To understand the model, take “cultural differences” as the operative words. [Read more...]

Schadenfreude and Extraverted Feeling

Schadenfreude is one of those German words that doesn’t have a direct translation. It means “joy in another’s misfortune”.

Whole branches of comedy (slapstick) and TV shows (all of Reality TV in my opinion, but definitely “candid camera” and “funny home videos”) are built on this concept.

I watched this video of a “kitten going beserk” on facebook recently, and you’ll have to see for yourself how high it jumps and how many times it contorts itself in horror. While the people taking the video were laughing, my first thought was – hope it didn’t hurt itself.

And that got me wondering about my sense of humor (or lack thereof), my sense of Schadenfreude, my preferences for Extraverted Feeling, and how they may be connected. [Read more...]