One of the respondents to my repatriation survey described a discrepancy between feeling internally free in their home country where there’s little financial or personal security, and feeling internally at un-ease in a safe society with opportunities for personal growth. Here’s what I shared with them:
I can relate in that I love my hometown, and I know exactly what to do, how to behave, and who I have to be. The expectations are clear, family roles are clear, it’s comfortable – and incredibly boring. Plus there is virtually NO international business happening in a 100 mile radius. None. Still, every time I visit it feels like slipping into a soft pair of pajamas, they fit, they keep me warm, and hold me in a loving embrace. That feeling lasts for about three days, and then I’m longing for a pair of sneakers to go outside and feel the fresh breeze!
Living in a different place, it’s like every day has different weather, and that keeps it interesting and exciting! I never know what to wear, to stay with the clothes metaphor. That feeling of excitement and stimulation lasts for a long time, and only once in a while every so often I want to catch my breath and feel that stability and loving embrace again. I can do that by flying home for a visit, or calling my family with a video conference, or even eating a favorite childhood meal. However, sticking it out in the new place, over time, I get to add a new pair of comfortable pajamas to the collection, and even though they’re never going to be like that old pair I love, they are a sign of my personal growth and experiences I’m blessed and proud to have made.
I guess one way of looking at this situation is that you’re taking yourself with you everywhere you go. If you have the time, I’d invite you to take a moment to identify what it is that makes you feel safe and secure and at ease and free where you are now. I agree, it’s a paradox and perplexing to feel free in a place with high crime and corruption, and trying to understand it without seeing a solution can be very frustrating. Once you know what it is that makes you feel free, maybe you can brainstorm some ways to make those things portable and take them with you to another external environment where you can feel externally safe and secure and happy and fulfilled, too.
Are you experiencing something similar? Or completely different? What’s it like for you to be back “home?” How do you cope with the feelings of having outgrown it all, or did you slip right back into that pajama?
Thank you for sharing your experience in this survey (7 questions – real quick) and the comments below!